Too Late

      I climbed the stairs to my apartment, my bag heavy on my shoulder with work that would have to be done over the weekend. It was after nine on a Friday and I was coming from the office instead of the bar. I was dead tired and uncertain if I would ever feel rested again. It seemed like the pace had been relentless for weeks. Project after project after meeting after meeting. A grueling schedule set to a soundtrack of heavy sighs and 5 am alarms. Although the leaves had yet to start changing color and the temperature still hung in the 80s, it was clear that summer and its lazy days were over (if they had ever been lazy to begin with).

      As I rounded the corner on my floor, I dropped my keys and couldn't even muster a curse as I bent to pick them up. I straightened quickly to prevent the contents of my bag from spilling out, almost losing my balance in the process and thinking gratefully that, at least the week is over.

      It was when I started walking again that I noticed someone sitting with their back against my apartment door. Between the relatively dim hallway lighting and my contacts having slipped out of focus, it took me several steps before I recognized who it was, but when I did, I took the last few steps in a long, wordless stride. I bent down, my bag crashing to the floor.

      "Is everything okay?" I asked, pushing the hair off his forehead as if it might reveal a wound of some kind. But his skin was smooth and unblemished as ever.

      "Yeah," he said calmly with a half-smile of reassurance. "Your neighbor Vanessa let me in. I hope you don't mind. I might have told her I was your boyfriend. --In case she asks. Sorry."

      "It's fine." The words were automatic. My heart had raced when I had thought something was wrong, but it was already slowing with the danger gone. "What are you doing here?"

      He looked at me with clear eyes, as if he was finally able to see me for the first time.

      "I think I really messed up."

      I let my hand fall away from his face. I didn't know what to say so I just said, "Yeah," as I sat down next to him.

      We sat there for a while, both our backs against my apartment door, staring at the wall and not saying anything.

      "I should've kissed you that night," he said after a while.

      "Which night?" I asked, closing my eyes and leaning my head further back.

      "All of them."

      I didn't look at him -- couldn't look at him -- but I smiled even while I kept my eyes closed.

      "I would have liked that."

      I don't know how much longer we sat without talking, but eventually I opened my eyes and let my head fall against his shoulder. He didn't move and there was a little more silence before I said:

      "We both messed up, you know."

      And he asked: "Is it too late to fix it?"

      I noticed that I had dropped my keys with my bag, but I picked both up as I stood. I shrugged. "I guess it's never really too late."